It was so long ago. At least that’s how it feels and I can’t tap into a year or a month… only a person and a moment. I don’t even remember how I got the DVD of The Secret – only that I got it and that my long time friend from Art Institute days introduced me to it and somehow sent me a copy. I remember the first time I watched it. I can remember how my living room was set up and instantly go back into that space of time where The Secret made its special appearance to me.
Keep in mind I was raised by Ms Positive Thinking herself, my mom. She was the type who would not hear “NO” and “Can’t”. One of her favorite responses to that mind frame was “Watch me!” Over the years this would rub off on me and I would always be drawn to self improvement literature, initially many of Vincent Peale. My mom made me believe in the impossible.
When I migrated for a few years to the US to study Visual Communications, this yearning for self improvement would continue to grow. I lived with my cousins for a couple years in Florida while attending Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale. My cousin Kim introduced to me to some kind of visualization/meditation via CDs or was it cassettes? Gosh! I am NOT ancient, am I?
I would lay on the floor and listen to the words and dive into another dimension of myself. Deepak Chopra can probably explain this. Please don’t expect me to explain. I have diagnosed myself with ADD and added several other Ds. I love Deepak but half the time I have no idea what he’s saying. It’s a weird sense of “I get it” … “Oh, Lawd what is this man sayingggg?”
Moral of the story so far is that I have always been exposed to visualization/meditation/positive thinking… “change your thoughts – change your world” mentality. I would read book after book about how people who would change their lives and completely get lost in the possibilities of my own visions. And they are many and sometimes so clear, they were almost tangible.
Back to the DVD. It inspired me. I wanted that. I wanted to think large, dream big and watch things come to fruition. They were like projects. Several projects that would be about and for my life.
There were only a few people I could share this with because most people can rationalize it all away. Dwindle it to nothing. I chose to believe in the message, not so much the details. I hope that makes sense. It feel like most things can be rationalized away, including and maybe especially religion. The Secret for me is more a way of thinking… a philosophy. Hmm, (philosophy) I should probably Google that to be sure.
I became so fascinated by it and I found The Secret Audio CDs which contained 4 CDs in the package. I would play these CDs repeatedly, day after day for months, nearing a year… and each day it felt like I learned something new. While I worked, drove, painted, existed… I would have the CDs sounding off like some good Reggae in the background. Even now I learn something new when I tune in. I started to create vision boards and I learned about “visions” vs “feelings”. How just “thinking positive” was not enough. It was also visualization and that this is in fact a ‘feeling universe’ and Oh Yea, a ‘friendly universe’. I learned about the Law of Attraction.
What is the law of attraction?
I learned that the higher my frequency, the better I felt and the more heightened my intuition would become. There have been times it left me speechless. I learned how our thoughts in fact create lots of things in our lives. I learned about frequencies and levels. That we carry with us an energy that expands out to those around us… people, places, things, events. Really, this is life in a nutshell: People. Places. Things. Events.
This would also lead me into some of my favorite books: The Alchemist, The Monk Who Sold the Red Ferrari, Eat|Pray|Love, The Power of Now, A New Earth to name a few. Keep in mind, I don’t like to read. I have ADD and some additional Ds remember… I don’t like to read. But I want to write. Oh the complex me! Sigh. Chalk it up to the eccentric artist in me. Please. Let’s pretend it’s that.
Nowhere near to being a master of my domain, it is something I try to practice. Also to live in the present. This moment. Right now… at this cafe where I am constantly letting my shell fall off from my core and I dare to share things that keep surfacing from the corners of my mind. This moment where I can hear my “Nourished” fingernails hitting the keys and the cappuccino machine dancing to its own music, people are talking, and utensils are subtly singing with their special effects on different platforms. I am here. Right Now.
Some days I fall completely short of this mindset, like yesterday. And perhaps some day last week but who’s counting?
Any day short of this mindset are most usually down days… because, after all, our thoughts create our world. It is just simple logic.
If my vision boards were not so personal, I would share and you would be amazed to see what has manifested. I am sharing here photos that may seem like random shots on random days of my life. Believe me, they are not random. They are representing powerfully. They are great reminders for me as I sit here. I really should remind myself of ‘then to now’ daily. It is at the core of me but it doesn’t always spread out to every part of me. Yet, I can confidently tell you that things have manifested in my life that people constantly said would not come to fruition. Many people stay on their journey, ever traveling the “Negative Nancy Train” but I could not afford those tickets. No Thanks. I would surrender to my idealistic vision boards and they would many times over, surrender to me.
I would stay true to my visualizations and my feelings and…
Does it mean nothing can go wrong ever?
No. Of course not.
Does it mean some paths have not lead me to trauma and heartbreak and shock?
No. Of course not.
Does it mean I can think away world issues and sickness?
No. Of course not.
Does it mean I can be positive through anything whatsoever?
No. Of course not.
Haha, anyone close enough to me can attest to this.
It means for me that our time on earth is short.
It means I want to make a conscious decision everyday to think differently, expect great things, find my rhythm and always dance to it. It means that I am a witness to the Law of Attraction and that subscribing to the right thoughts will constantly elevate my frequencies and there’s a much greater chance that my vision boards will manifest.
Each day has only so many seconds and they disappear as quickly as they appear. If you are having a great day, they disappear even faster. Although I’ve also had experiences where it felt like I controlled the time. I know this is hard to digest, even as I read it, it sounds warped and until I can find a way to explain it that makes sense, I have to leave it at that.
It means I’m human but I will always try to get back up. I will fall apart and rebuild as I have many times. I will live with cardboard boxes until the furniture comes. It means I want to subscribe to greater things. And that I will Expect Great Things.
I want to… Nourish Me Sweetly and I want you to come with me. I dare you to believe.