I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the words Nourish Me Sweetly and the life events that brought them to me. The name seemed to come out of thin air. They just sort of flew in among a myriad of thoughts as I was driving one day. I was finally coming up for air from what felt like a dark and weary place. Slowly, I was emerging to a new footing, light and some love. Slowly, but surely.
It was a much needed reminder of what it felt like to have support and to feel safe. It was sweet nourishment. And, it became all I wanted to experience.
I only wanted to entertain people, places and things that could bring sweet nourishment to me.
Nourishing Others Felt Intuitive and Easy
Growing up in a hotel and later working it, I learned to anticipate the needs of others. A part of the role you play running a small family hotel is to care about the wellbeing and safety of your guests to a certain extent. Most of them were total strangers.
Once I had my son, I understood the responsibility of completely caring for another human being. I suppose over our lifetimes, we all learn these traits albeit in different ways. On a whole, we are almost always caring for someone else on a daily basis even as we let someone with fewer items than we have check out before us in the line, or holding open a door for someone. The list can go on and on.
I was learning much of mine through service to others in a hotel setting. By and large, the nourishing of others felt intuitive and easy. To a certain degree, so was caring for myself.
9 Years of Ballet
I’d done ballet for about 9 years which instilled a sense of discipline in terms of exercise. I understood what strength and flexibility felt like and what it was like to be in a body that served me well.
Over the years, I’d learned to run for extended periods of time, did Taebo with masterful delivery, inverted my body into headstands with ease and hiked for hours at a time. Eating was something I constantly came to new agreements with, in a good way. I understood the vitality that physical care brought to my life experience.
Turning to Silence as My Friend
My mom was an avid positive thinker and she was fairly religious by way of catholicism. Her favorite Saint was Saint Jude. She’d sit on the verandah in the wee hours of the morning before the guests got moving and she’d say her rosary and in times of despair, she’d direct her prayer to Saint Jude. It felt like he’d always pulled through for her and later for me.
My best recollection of my interaction with St Jude was when I lost a book at the payphone (you do remember what those are, right?) across the street from Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale (AIFL). My mom reminded me to pray to St Jude and voila, someone had found it and turned it in to the school.
Spiritually, I’d come to know meditation and prayer as my refuge in times of despair and recently learned to turn to silence as my friend.
I Adore Spirit
While my belief system has been constantly evolving since March 2009, or at least that’s when I became aware of it, I have a general grasp on what resonates with me spiritually. I don’t subscribe to religion but I adore spirit and I lean wholeheartedly into the awareness of the divine, mostly. I understand that I am fueled by an inner being that knows all, sees all and can tell me all I need to know if I only remain open and free of resistance.
It’s that whole #LetGoLetGod movement and it lures me in deliciously when I let my defenses down.
Practice What You Preach
I’ve rigorously studied positive thinking, The Secret, Law Of Attraction and Abraham Hicks philosophy and have enjoyed sharing what I’ve learned with so many people. I’d manifested many things that seemed impossible to others. The Negative Nancy train was not for me and I’d often adopt the words of my mom when things seemed impassable – Team #WatchMe.
One of the people I often share information with is my #SisterGurlCousinFriend (SGCF). She now boasts that she’s way better at this stuff than I am and that she hadn’t even fully listened to even one YouTube link I’d sent her. The Nerve!
She does give me some credit in the area of listening. She’s told me time and time again that I should be a therapist and then scold me for being one of the only people who makes her cry just by listening. Can’t win with some people, I tell ya.
I suppose I’m a fairly good listener. It’s a skill I really tapped into through my friendship with an amazing woman named Florence. Whatever the story was that was being relayed to me, I’d somehow tap into more than just their words and took great pride in making Melanie and one other person I know cry haha. I was good at being patient and super intuitive with what they were trying to say or clarify BUT I was falling short of those things for myself.
My SGCF has caught a whiff of that and started telling me: #PracticeWhatYouPreach.
It’s been hard to hear.
Physical, Spiritual, Mental and Emotional Care
Physically, spiritually and mentally, I feel good about my general knowledge and practices.
Physical Care – Check.
Spiritual Care – Check.
Mental Care – Check.
Emotional Care – Meh.
Emotionally, There Was Much to be Desired
As an artist, I’m told that my emotions serve my creativity – it’s where my writing and art come from. From my perspective, it can be exhausting. I feel too deeply, see to keenly sometimes and everyone’s energy is somewhat tangible. Emotionally, there was much to be desired. Where is the balance?
Dancing and Romancing with the Contrast of My Mind
I understand the Law of Attraction and that it is a “FEELING Universe”. I get that we all vibrate and all you have to do is to become a vibrational match to that which you desire and it will manifest.
However, if my emotions were in the depths of their turbulence, not much could calm my roaring waves. I’d go into bouts of bawling, anxiety and despair. St Jude could have been standing before me waving his prayer and I’d probably just dwell in the drowning of my tears fueled by an avalanche of relentless negative thoughts.
I’d been teaching others about the power of their words, their thoughts and outlook – intuitively knowing what they needed to see. Yet, there I was dancing and romancing with the contrast of my mind.
Nourish Me Sweetly, why hast thou forsaken me?
Keeping Inventory of Thoughts
I understood the importance of entertaining people, places and things that could bring sweet nourishment to me but I missed a key aspect. Nourish Me Sweetly isn’t just about entertaining people, places and things that bring me joy.
It is most importantly about the joy, love and peace I bring to myself and much of this required keeping inventory of my thoughts. I had to learn to reel them in quickly when they start heading downhill.
Ease was a much better place to be. Ease and easy were nicer words to hold on to.
Nourish Me Sweetly – Mind, Body & Soul but Don’t Forget Your Emotions.
It’s about daily meditation, connection to source and making all of it a priority in my day. It wasn’t just about doing things that made me feel good or being around people who made me feel light although those are amazing experiences. Keeping better tabs of my thoughts delivers organic nectar to my emotions and my emotions serve me in ways I never imagined. Even when they feel like they are bad, they are serving me letting me know to shift direction as soon as I’m able to. I understand now that I may not always be able to and in those moments, just try to ride it out. Eventually, it passes. Well, usually unless I have an anxiety attack and pretend St Jude isn’t in front of me waving his prayer.
Nourish Me Sweetly – Mind, Body & Soul but don’t forget your emotions.
I am slowly learning to choose a different thought, step by step til I gain more and more leverage in a better direction. It’s hard sometimes to come to grips with how much I’ve put into studying the law of attraction, having a very clear understanding of how it works, being able to convince others of it, yet finding myself ruled by emotional upheaval.
I had to face the truth of what I was being told – practice what you preach.
“Ok, but you’re not an artist”, I’d want to say to her. “You don’t understand FEELINGS”.
Insert big rolling eye emoticon here.
It’s About Feeling Good. Period.
New light has been shed on what Nourish Me Sweetly means. It’s about feeling good. Period. Sometimes it will be in the form of people, places and things. Many times it will require a shift in my thoughts – creating an easier carpet to ride on so that the magic can be more readily available to me, maybe to you if you can relate to any of this.
It’s been hard to hear but I hear it. My desire is to get better and better at choosing how I want to feel and becoming a distinct vibrational match to it by shifting my thoughts.
I just want to feel good. Period.