It feels like many moons ago and yet sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that I ran a small family hotel with my brother. I wanted a change and it took a while to understand what The Secret means by saying this is a FEELING universe. I needed to get in the feeling of what I say I want in order to see it come to life. At this time in my life, this meant having weekends for myself.
The hotel was an inheritance that came on the heels of our mom’s passing. She left her legacy flat in our hands. Big shoes to fill, believe me. It was only then that I realised how much work it really was and why she would stay up until 2am to get any sort of paper work done. The day time hassles and hustles just wouldn’t allow it. Hotel Mopan was her dream and her escape. It was a business I very slowly moved into, briefly became excited about but eventually grew to hate. Running a hotel is hard work and it’s non stop. Living on the property didn’t help. My mind was always in work mode – even on my “days off”.
Every public and bank holiday, Easter, Christmas and New Years were not my own. Even if I did manage to get one of them off, it would inevitably involve work some how. I used to especially dread Easter holidays because where I’m from, it meant 4 days off for most people traveling and enjoying life. And, I was either behind the desk, swaying with a broom, cleaning a table, registering a guest, cleaning up from a leaking air-conditioner, serving a drink or something that involved “hotel work”. Exhaustion crept in. Change was much desired and the 3 years that followed brought all the change I wanted.
Ask. Believe. Receive.
Fast track to 2012 where I took my first real Easter break in years! I decided I would enjoy that Easter and went to Northern Lagoon, Belize with family and friends. It was a tiny decision that delivered HUGE changes. I decided and the universe conspired with me to make it happen – or was that just my brother? 🙂 I would take the kids and he would hold the fort.
Little did I know it was the first of many free weekends and Easter breaks to come – something I treasure beyond measure.
My weekends are for me.
We took off on Holy Saturday happily leaving the city behind. Our boat came in just for us and we embarked on a few days of fun in the sun. It turned out to be a weekend I would never forget. There was enough food, drinks, a couple kayaks, a beautiful pier with a bar and even a jet ski. Most important, I was with people I loved and cherished and who loved and cherished me – at least enough to send a boat to get us that Saturday evening. That’s a pretty big much, wouldn’t you say? I was about to be “Sweetly Nourished”.
The kids were happily swimming all day and taking turns to see who could go out the farthest, searching seashells along the shore of the lagoon while their Easter Egg Hunt was being strategically planned. We had delicious meals, comfortable accommodations and amazing company. Easter Sunday started with breakfast and egg hunt and rapidly shifted to water fun.
The entire crew decided to make a little tour around the lagoon and I opted to have Easter Sunday evening all to myself on the beautiful wooden pier. I can remember the feeling of LIFE – like I could breathe and my breath was mine. OK, so that might sound a bit dramatic, but that’s how it felt. Since everyone went off in the boat, it meant I had silence, fresh air and the sunset.
It was a day of balance – just enough of everything. Balance is my “kryptonite“. I laid out in the sun and basked in her glory (while constantly reapplying sunblock because who am I kidding? I’m a white girl – my daddy’s genes are strong). The sun and I are OK but we need some distance. My freckles could tell the stories of my many encounters with the sun as a child.
I digress. My evening was quiet and serene – in fact it was so quiet and serene that my complete detachment to the world became so silent, I started to wonder if my crew was coming back. [Insert side eye here -.-]
I heard all kinds of movements in the bushes behind the house and no sign of a human person.
It didn’t matter. The “freedom” became etched in my being. I knew what it would be like again to be free and to have my weekends off and holidays to myself. The actual experience was now in alignment with the vision and feeling. It was pure delight. It was one of those life experiences that become a part of who you are.
Back to work but mentally checked out.
We returned home on Easter Monday. I was right back to work. That was April 2012. August 2012, it turned out that I shut down my entire life. What started out as a dream and vision of having weekends to myself and holidays as actual holidays became a reality within only a few months. Weekends are now mine and I can enjoy Easter, Christmas and New Years as I see fit.
The moral of the story is: get in the feeling of what it is you say you want. This is, in fact, a feeling universe. That Easter weekend gave me the feeling of what it would be like to be free and on my own time. It created my weekends as real and true and MINE.
And this is a gentle reminder to myself as I write the items of my most recent vision board – you can have these too! All I need now is to get into the feeling – focus on the feeling and immerse myself into gratitude and to ALWAYS Nourish Me Sweetly.
I dare you to believe.